Monthly Archives: October 2012

Is two hours cleaning a toilet about an hour and forty five minutes too much?

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So woke up early, checked emails, let the dog out for a piss and went back to sleep again. By the time I woke up again Jamie was getting ready for work, to which I then announced “We’re not moving into that flat you you, there’s no where to put anything.”. I do like my Saturday morning dreams.

Walked the dog, met a few nice people on the way, including an elderly couple who I thought were going to be a real pain in the ass, but they absolutely loved Sasha. Can back and rang Holly Hedge, sadly now two dogs that I’ve done home checks for in the past three months have been returned. Sometimes these things just don’t work out, it’s sad for the owners and very stressful for the dogs.

I then had lunch, yes it had cheese. Then I rang a couple who I saw a few months ago to check how they were getting on with their new dog. So as it was getting a bit late I decided rather than walking into town when I didn’t really want anything, I’d clean the toilet. Two hours later it’s probably the most sparkling bowl in Britain. I not only cleaned the loo but all the pipework behind it and all the mould and everything under it. I also cleaned the glass shelves and all the mould on the window. Tomorrow if I get the urge after gardening I may spray the mouldy bits and paint it. But lets not get too eager.

I then went and visited the couple with the dog, they also had another new dog from a labradore rescue centre. It was really lovely to see both dogs being very well looked after and having a great time together. It is nice when it works out well.

Visited mother. Removed viruses off her laptop. Jamie said that if I got everything off his shopping list then we would have sex. I got everything, so I’ll bring this up later.

Done the accounts. Bought somemore t-shirts. Bowels are still working. Now unusually for a Saturday I think I’ll have a quick bath before dinner.

Ninety two pages of documentation later.

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So started off by waking early which is never a good sign, so went back to sleep. Last nights film was awful, will review it at some point.

So it was back on to documentation with a few interruptions from online people. We did have to abandon our efforts in the end as it turns out the 360’s need to directly communicate with each other and that means they have to port forward, which isn’t going to work if everyone is using a VPN with one public IP address. Anyway, it was quite interesting while it lasted.

Walked the dog. Then got back on with more documentation. Went to the gym, did Pump then ran for 32 minutes. Came back and more documentation. Then finally finished it. Ninety two pages of audio library docs, that no doubt no one will ever bloody read.

Bowel update. Seems to have a slight increase in pressure today. Only the weekend to go, then look forward to fairly solid turds again.

Right, bath and wine time.

“When shall I come round?”, “Sorry are you expecting me to administer an anaesthetic?”

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So started late as I didn’t sleep very well last night, hell of a stiff neck. That seems to be the only stiff thing at the moment. It’s either age or Jamie’s gone to an ugly phase.

Carried on with the documentation, which oddly I seemed to be in the mood for. So throughout the day I’ve managed to get through the bulk of it. If I have a clear day tomorrow I hope to finish it all off plus the example code and a couple of problems Al found.

Finally got the online person working with pfSense, although I think it would have been easier to get my sister to become a nun.

Walked the dog. Went to the gym, ran for sixty sixty minutes. I finally gave in and bought some cheese. I will weigh it though. But I’ve ran 36 miles this week, so a bit of cheese and crackers isn’t going to suddenly make me put on three stone. Eating it with a bottle of wine however may do.

Bowel update, nothing much to report, still pressurised at about three atmospheres. Don’t poke me or the outcome may not be pleasant.

Kyros Christian is coming to London at the end of October, I said to Jamie that I should go there for the week, he said no. May be I should just invite him here for a couple of days and show him the sights.

Oh new cleaner hopefully sorted out.

Cheese.

If there’s one thing I hate (which there isn’t, there are lots and lots) it’s documentation

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So still get this network thing to sort out. Couldn’t do much more on it until I got the destination IP addresses. So started on the audio lib documentation. I really do hate writing docs, it’s very dull and very repetitive and most of the time no one reads them anyway. Still made a decent start on it today.

Walked the dog. Had lunch. Came back to one of the online guys asking how to work out what IP addresses the 360 was trying to access. I’m surprised by this as online know all about routing, firewalls and what the hell what is trying to connect to what. Anyway, got him to get a copy of pfSense installed, then look at the firewall logs. It then took him all day to burn a copy of the pfSense CD. Sometimes I despair.

Arranged to do a re-check on a lovely dog called ‘Ben’, whose now called ‘Hooch’. Very nice lady and dog. Went to gym. Ran for sixty five minutes. Came home. Ate salad. No cheese.

Bowel update. Today it’s less like Mount Vesuvius and more like a chocolate fountain, although I wouldn’t want to dip a marshmallow in the stream.

No cheese.

Oh, reviews of a couple of films I’ve watched in the last few days. “388 Arletta Avenue” “Devil”

The women on the phone sounded as sorry as Hitler

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This morning was rudely interrupted by a phone call from the Baxi boiler women to tell me that she was cancelling the service call again, as the engineer who was coming to me last week no longer works for the company and no one told her, she sounded as sorry as Hitler. I wrote a fun email to Domestic and General. They will be first against the wall when the revolution comes.

Then on to work (after the first poo of the day). Today was all about networking, this is the tcp/ip kind, not the kind where you go to an uninteresting soiree with canopies and cheap sparkling wine, while the hostess is talking about how ‘plastics are going to be big’, while your busy staring down her cleavage. The task was quite simple, get a 360 to route all it’s traffic via a vpn. The solution however was far from simple. First as we have two vpn’s, one that works and another one which works on occasion. The one which works is a Cisco vpn client, unfortunately it isn’t compatible with internet connection sharing. So you have to connect Cisco vpn, then other vpn, then enable connection sharing, then hack the registry so it gives you an IP the same as your existing subnet, then block UDP port 67 to stop every other machine on your network trying to use it as a dhcp server. Then finally you can manually add all the routes in, which can only be done by destination.

Anyway on to bowels. So started taking this colon cleansing stuff. It makes your stomach feel a bit like a pressurised Soda Stream. The force of feces coming out of my arse and hitting the pan would make Felix Baumgartner hitting the deck without a parachute seem insignificant. I have a feeling that I could now eat a pea, wait ten seconds for it to regurgitate around the particle accelerator, then fire out my bum like a cannon. Anyway, on it for seven days, so should hopefully be ’empty’ by then.

I then get a text message from ‘Heat Team’ to rate their service. 1-poor 5-excellent. It sent me a text message back saying that it didn’t recognise ‘fucking shit’ and it also didn’t allow negative numbers, so had to settle with a ‘1’.

New cleaner says she can no longer do it as she can’t get child care. So on the search for yet another cleaner.

Went to gym, ran for 64 minutes. Now time for salad. Still no cheese.

So all I have to look forward to is a banana

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Started vaguely on time, although it was fairly slow progress until lunch, then I kind of accelerated afterwards and got about two days work done in an afternoon. You really do need to be in the mood with this job. So today was finishing off the audio lib. Added defaults to initialisation, added all the new codecs to the sound bank tool and created a new tool for doing audio conversion plus a request from Al. So that’s it, I can’t think of any more to add to it, just the documentation (dull bit) to do. We’ve had the play through comments come through on the mobile game, but we can’t work on that at the moment for various reasons.

Went to gym, did combat. Came back and worked on a rather interesting network problem. We have a console site that can only be accessed from a certain ip range, problem is everyone has dynamic ip’s. So I’m trying to work out how to get main pc to route packets via the vpn. It’s slow going, but as I say quite interesting.

So had my salad, no cheese, drank tea, no cheese, no wine, no cheese. Will be taking pills tonight to cleanse my colon. So the only other thing I have now is a banana and more tea. No cheese.

I have a self cleaning oven, although I’ve never caught it at it

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So where were we, as yes Saturday. Got up later than I’d planned, considering I wanted to do a load of house re-checks today for Holly Hedge. Walked the dog, we got heavily hailed on, she really wasn’t keen on that, so we came back. I did the shopping which seemed to take forever as I had two bloody lists. Unpacked shopping, had lunch.

Then decided I really must get on with these home checks, so rang a couple and one was in, so went and did that. Lovely lady, lovely cat. Then I drove into town so I could go into Apple Store to be told that we don’t actually have any Apple products here so please order them online. Went into Robert Dyas and bought some new phones as I was bored of my outgoing line phone cutting out after five minutes. Went into House Of Fraser, looked at coffee machines, they didn’t have what I wanted. Well they had what I would have liked, but there was no way I was going to pay that much for it. Bought some new noodle bowls.

Came back home, walked the dog round the block as she was looking edgy. Had shower, went and picked up Andy & Lisa, as well as Jamie. Came back, we had Champagne (no Lulu). I cooked. Apparently it was fabulous. It was Chicken, Shiitake Mushrooms, Asparagus and Ginger. I did it with Noodles and rice (for an awkward one, it’s like vegetarians, if you don’t want meat then go outside and eat my lawn.) We drink wine, a lot of wine. Considering the talk usually centers around Tesco’s I was quite surprised that this evening oddly it didn’t. We somehow managed to talk about children’s eating habit’s and how Jamie can actually find his way around London on his own without getting lost, mugged or bum raped.

So this morning we got up late. Well before we got up we did perform the sex act. Well I performed it, it’s not exactly like a Shakespearean play, I doubt he was in to bum sex, Jamie just really didn’t seem in the mood. About half hour later though he had perked up somewhat (both mentally and metaphorically) so I performed my mad maracas routine on his love pump while he laid back, closed his eyes and thought about Terry Wogan in Speedos. We then got up. I had boiled eggs.

As it was Sunday it was Jamie’s turn to walk the dog. As it was a nice day I decided to be the tour guide, otherwise the walk would have been about three minutes long. I dressed in cross country trainers and old trakkie bottoms. Jamie dressed like he was off to a gay bar. We went on one of my longer routes, oddly Jamie didn’t moan at all. I then came back and mowed the lawn, followed by watching a guy jump out of a wheelie bin at the edge of space. “Felix Baumgartner”, if I had balls your size, I’d have serious walking issues.

So there we are, back up to date, the rest of the evening will consist of wine, bath, more wine, curry (with wine), followed by falling asleep in front of the Korean GP.

Ordered my iPhone5, well it’s the companies iPhone5, but they won’t get it.

I really have to give up cheese

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Started late, but hey, you have to be in the mood for these things. So finished off coding the doppler shift sample. Then moved on to sound cones, which is basically directional audio. After a couple of silly bugs that was all working.

Then walked the dog. Sun was shining as we left, then at the half way point it absolutely pissed down. Came back, then worked on adding sound effects support to the music mixer. That took me up to gym time. Did pump, then about 30 mins of running.

Came back from that and sorted out some buffer alignment problems. Did a film review of some torture porn I watched the other night “Invitation Only”

Now it’s time for wine and bath.

Really need to stop eating cheese, bought a block last night and ended up eating over half of it. All it does is make me fat. But it does have the advantage of giving me very solid bowel movements, talking of which I’m pooing about five times a day at the moment. Obviously not enough salad in my diet.

Busy day tomorrow I expect. Need to catch up with house checks then Lisa and Andy coming over for dinner. No doubt they (including Jamie), will talk about Tesco’s, a lot.

Decided on the coffee machine I like (£600) and the one I’ll probably get (£200).

The joys of doppler shift

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Couldn’t sleep again last night, didn’t hit the wine, just stayed on MSN talking to Al, which kept Jamie awake so was a plus. The array allocing stuff I did yesterday seems to work, so that’s hopefully the end of the iPhone5 problems. Still don’t have one, but now ordered one from the Apple store on 2-3 weeks delivery.

So cleaner arrived on time, got mugged by the dog again then cleaned. Needs a bit of refinement, but she’ll get there. So today working on Octree, which was a success pretty much off the bat. Then tidied up a few bugs that had crept in. Then it was on to doppler shift. For those that don’t know that’s how the frequency changes depending on velocity and direction. That’s the weird police siren thing you get when the car goes past you. Anyway, coded it all up. Didn’t work. Tried it on iOS, didn’t work, played around with tons of stuff and went through lots of docs. Got bored and checked it in. Then worked out I was using a stereo source…doppler and positioning only works on mono sources, change the source, all worked fine. So tomorrow it’s doing a decent sample for that and then sound cones, which are even more strange.

Walked the dog. Went to the gym, ran for 63 minutes today. Watched a very interesting document about a plane crash, well a plane they actually crashed and monitored. Now it’s on to torture porn, choice of two tonight.

Do you have the iPhone5 in stock, yes. Can I buy one, no. Bastards.

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Got a mail from Al about the iPhone5 crash, looks like it’s an issue with alignment on the new arm processor. So spent the bulk of the day writing array allocators to fix the problem.

Tried to get hold of an iPhone5. O2 stock checker said they had some in Clifton. So off I trotted. “Do you have the iPhone5 32GB in stock?”, “Yes, sir”, “Here’s £619”. “Oh, sorry I can’t sell one to you”, “What?”, “I can only sell it on a 24 month contract.”. Tossers. Then I came back and found they had them in stock just up the road so could have saved petrol for the same argument.

So a bit of a ‘null’ day really. Walked the dog. Went to gym, ran for 62 minutes. Ate salad. Got a couple of new films in. Cleaner should be back tomorrow.

Another one of my reviews is up on trip advisor “La Piazza Aztec West”