So this morning started with sex, which is always a good way to go. We then got up and basically went shopping. We went into Shibuya and watched the worlds busiest crossing from the worlds busiest Starbucks. Jamie bought various CD’s. I started stared in awe at the complete tat that was available.

We walked into Harajuku and around a park, we eventually came across a temple that we were looking for. So that’s all the culture out of the way.

We went back to the hotel and shit, showered, shaved, then ventured out to find the ‘Robot Restaurant’, we’d made a reservation from the hotel earlier.

This whole experience was about an hour long and consisted of inedible food and cheap beer. It was just bizare. About forty scantally clad women prancing about to various themes envolving robots and warriors and all sorts of weirdness. It’s almost impossible to describe, it was just a visceral feats of odd. You ended up with these giant mechanical robots fighting each other. I think it’s about as close as you can get to porn in Japan, saying that on leaving, some large black bloke was asking us if we wanted to visit a ‘titty bar’.

We found a real busy little cafe / bar thing on the way back and ate some junk. Now very tired, it’s all coming to an end now. Mount Fuji tomorrow and that’s about it. It’s been pretty cool all in all.

So today we managed to start earlier than yesterday, but still wasn’t that early. We descended on the area of Sega Joypolis. We visited several shopping arcades and had a coffee in a ‘cat cafe’. This is a bizare concept, but I can see it’s appeal. You pay for an hour in the lair of cats with a coffee, it’s actually very relaxing. We also visited ‘Hello Kitty’ land, which is twee and vomit inducing.

Then we hit Sega Joypolis, which is pricey, but to be honest has more interesting stuff than Disney. We did the Sonic athletics game and a few others. Then just as it was getting interesting Jamie mananged to lose his passport ticket, so that fucked everything up. I did one more driving game thing which was quite fun then we hit the gift shop. Considering this is Sonic central, the gift shop is fairly dissapointing.

Incidentally I managed to go to a “Tower Records” and buy “Sexy Thing” by some gorgeous Japanese boy band. I need to look more into Japanese boy bands.

We ate again at ‘Pronto’ and then ventured on to the ‘bar’ where we ordered various shit. Okay was a bit pissed off earlier, but got over it, overall a fun day had by all.

We were on a lazy day today, but perhaps more lazy than we should have been. We were eventually turfed out by housekeeping at about 3PM. We took various train combinations to Tokyo and eventually made it to Tokyo Skytree. Now this was one of Japan’s special pieces of organisation which of course all made sense if you are Japanese. However I found a nice man who knew instantly I was a bit thick and pointed me towards a tent where they were giving out timed flyers. You then took one of these and at the alloted time could come back and then buy a ticket. It was all very confusing but we got it sorted in the end. So after we obtained the flyer we had about an hour and a half to kill, so we went in search of somewhere to eat. Jamie found a place and I settled down to a very odd Japanese dish of an omlette which contained chicken fried rice with curry sauce. It sounds and looks fairly disgusting, but actually tasted very nice. We made it up the sky tree in the end and view is spectacular. We got up there just in time for dusk. By the time we made it to the top deck Tokyo was just lighting up.

We came back down and then ventured back to the hotel. Quick shit, shower, shave and we were out again. This being Sunday quite a lot of the restaurants were closed. We ventured towards Shinjuku and settled on a little cafe/restaurant on the 3rd floor of a tower block. I had a pizza and Jamie had a chicken in wine sauce thing. All very good, all very poncy.

On the way there we did pass through the gay district, it was all fairly scary, although I’m sure we’ll pay it a visit one day next week.

Today we ventured out about normal time, which was late. We managed to get a local service rather than an express train so it took forever to get to Yokohama. Got to Kannai station no problem and found the stadium, there was a game on so it was very busy. Found the edge of China town, should have taken my first hunch but walked round a bit and through China town which was very busy. Oddly I came across the old ‘English Tavern’ first, before the hotel. The original Union Jack flag was there in the sign, but sadly the sign by the lift door had the name of a realtor on it. We did take the trip up to the 4th floor but all appeared to be empty. Sad, but was nice to see the remains of the old place, many many memories there.

Soon found the hotel, this now looks like it’s been turned into apartments or something, the sign is still there but the reception looks dark and empty.

We caught the bus down to Hon-Moko. Soon found the old Mycal building, went up to the 4th floor, it’s all a mere shell of its former self. What once was a bustling arcade with the Crystal Maze, Laser Quest and ‘Horror Maze’ is now a kiddies birthday party thing. Where the Maze once stood is now a bouncy castle. The whole building has certainly downsized in content if not physical size. What used to be quite a high end food court on the ground floor is now just a tacky market, the big posh restaurants have moved out, together with the expensive clothing and furniture shops. In thirteen years it’s gone from Fendi to Primark. I looked for the old Subway sandwich bar, I found the building, it’s now an office. The old ‘Dunkin Doughnuts’ place is empty. We ate at McDonalds which seems to be the only new thing there.

It appears that the economic downturn has hit Yokohama hard, most of the places I knew of just don’t exist anymore.

We found a Japanese Tesco express and also a giant Pokemon centre, so did a little bit of shopping. Then sensibly got the express train home.

I’ll always have a special place in my heart for Yokohama, I have a lot of good memories and had some fun times. Time moves on for everybody and everything, so it’s a fond farewell I say to Yokohama for probably the last ever time. If I close my eyes I can still see everybody in the ‘English Tavern’, so I’ll say Campie! to you all and finally one last sayonara.

So today was the first day that we slept through the night and woke up at a sensible time, that is about 10AM. We slowly surfaced, although bed was indeed a nice place to be. I had a tea and my cornflake replacement cereal (I have no idea what it is, but the picture looks like Frosties and it tastes just fine). Jamie took about half an hour to put his face on and do his hair. I took about three minutes. We repeated yesterdays journey and arrived at Disneyland Tokyo at about 11:30. It was packed and it was hot. We got fast passes for space mountain then meandered a bit. Did ‘It’s a small world’, which is just as irritating here as it is in every other country in the world. We then went back and did Space Mountain, which out of all the non-inverting versions of it I reckon this one is the best one, as it’s all pretty much pitch black.

We then took our places sat down for the parade, now this being Japan everybody sat nicely and nobody stood up, if this was the USA then everyone would have stood up and some fat twat with the ass the size of Texas would have blocked everybody’s view. If it was France the parade wouldn’t have gone ahead anyway as everyone would be on strike. The parade was very good.

We then went and had lunch (pizza, it was Friday, actually it was a fairly awful sausage pizza so it doesn’t really count). Then went back and did the haunted mansion. Then Jamie insisted we queued for over an hour to do the ‘Winnie the Pooh’ ride. I wasn’t overly impressed, after about 50 minutes of me moaning he finally said, “You’re going to sit in a honey pot and enjoy it”, I was apparently a small scalded child. I sat in a honey pot and enjoyed it. Technically it was quite impressive I’ll have to look up how it actually works.

We then had a Churro and a coke which I ordered from a stand entirely in Japanese. I’m very impressed with my 250 quid investment in the language so far, where all I’ve asked is ‘Does chicken exist?’, and ‘Two churro’s and a small coke please’. Mind you I was impressed than I could get the ‘small’ in. Also never go to Japan with me if I have more than one extra person as I only know the words for ‘One of’ and ‘two of’.

We watched the electrical parade, which again was impressive and again we had a non-restricted by fat American arses view. It was getting a bit chilly, I would say there was a bit of a ‘nip’ in the air, but that wouldn’t really be appropriate.

We then queued outside one of the Disney full service restaurants, we didn’t wait long to be honest. Had a fairly nice three course meal. Thanks to the power (or lack of) of the Yen we ate for about 13 quid, which by any standards, let alone Disney is pretty bloody good.

We then made the crawl back to the hotel again. I was insisting we went out tonight, but Jamie is moaning about being tired and requiring his beauty sleep, so I picked up a couple of cans and decided update everything instead as I’m a bit behind with a few bits.

Off to Yokohama tomorrow.

So today we were planning on starting early anyway. But we were both wide awake at about 4AM. We couldn’t really get back to sleep either. It ended up with Jamie creating a bit of a mess in my bed. Nothing quite like crusty sheets.

We made it to the subway for 9:30AM and through a variety of trains got to Tokyo Disneyland. We ended up at the train station bit where a friendly lady guided us to where the hell we were meant to go. Today we were doing Tokyo Disneysea, tomorrow we are doing Tokyo Disneyland. We would have spread it out a bit but that’s how the tickets work. So we spent the day in Disneysea. Well we spent the bulk of the day queuing to be honest. We got a fast pass to the ‘Towa of Tera’, sorry, ‘Tower of Terror’ and then queued for the Indianan Jones ride and then another ride. We went back and did the tower which I must admit although not based on the ‘Twilight Zone’ stuff it had a great drop sequence. We then queued an hour and twenty minutes for the ‘Toy Story’ ride. We watched a couple of shows and then it decided to piss down, which actually was quite useful as it thinned out the crowds. We ate at a sort of buffet thing which was a hell of a price but was cheaper than some options.

Came back to the hotel at about 10PM. Picked up some munchies and beer. Must admit feel fairy tired after the whole day, but have to do a pretty much identical one tomorrow.

The alarm was set for 9:30, my body clock wasn’t. So at about 11:30 we finally made it out. Jamie was dressed as some sort of preppie, I was dressed as an extra from a death metal band as usual. We walked towards Shinjuku and admired it’s true chaos in daylight.

Hopped on a metro and went to Ginza. The Sony building. Which wasn’t as interesting as I remember it, so did the whole thing in about twenty minutes. Walked round Ginza for a bit. All very pricey. Hopped on a train again and went to Akiharbara. Then spent about an hour trying to find this ‘Maid Cafe’, which Jamie was obsessed about. In the end we didn’t find the exact one as it appeared to no longer exist. However we found this chain on the second floor of a tower block. Now I’ve experienced some strange shit in my life but this really takes the biscuit. There are a bunch of 30 year old woman dressed as 13 year old school girls. Now I just don’t know where it’s coming from. In the restaurant was a couple of guys, a French couple and then a bunch of whats best described as fucking weirdos. One was I’m sure just going through a bus timetable and giggling to himself. There were two others who I’m sure their penises had only ever been used for pissing and self mutilation. Anyway, this ‘Maid’ came to our table and we had to do this little ‘song’ for the candle. Then we ordered some chicken stuff. Jamie went for the set menu which included a photo with the maids. The food was okay. I had a giant beer. Considering I hadn’t drunk anything other than a sip of water since 5AM it was well required. Anyway, after food it just got fucking weirder. The maids puton this show which basically consisted of one standing on a stage lip-syncing to a very loud song, while several of the scary people (who new every move) danced around with glow sticks. It was a weird experience. Very Japanese.

We wandered round Akiharbara for a bit and visited several arcades. Eneded up playing this new type dance game thing which was very fun. Went back to the hotel, felt very tired again so had a little nap.

Then ventured out. We decided to eat traditional Japanese tonight, so found a place which had the dishes in plastic shown outside in the windows. The menus were all very Japanese, I’m very pleased I practiced my “Regarding Chicken, does it exist?”, phrases. I ended up with a rather nice chicken and tomato dish. Very reasonable price as well.

We then ventured off to find a bar. Which we found in about 30 feet. Sat down. All the menus were in Japanese but they understood the concept of ‘large beer’, Asahai. I like this bar. I had two, Jamie had one, it came to 1400 Yen which isn’t divisable by 3 so they didn’t charge me for one. I’ll be back to this place again.

So all in all, a very strange but yet very enjoyable day.

Most of the day is a bit of a blur due to me being up for about thirty hours on the trot. So started off first thing with delivering the dog to the new kennels, she seemed somewhat ancious but I’m sure she’ll fit in just fine.

Then mother arrived and moaned that we were not ready. She then talked about her dull life for about the full hour we were on the way to Bristol airport. Sat at airport. Got a text from mother that the directions I gave her were wrong, well at least she had something to moan about. Got on the first plane to Amsterdam, journey is about four minutes.

Sat in Amsterdam airport for a bit then boarded the 777 to Narita. I watched Les Mis, okay I still think that Russelle Crowe is a bit of a twat but it was a hell of a film. I tried to sleep on the flight, this failed. I even tried to aid it by drinking about seven bottles of those wine miniture things. It was actually avery good Chillien number. Still no avail. The food wasn’t bad. But the flight overall was as boring as hell.

Arrived at Narita airport. Baggage also arrived which was a plus. Picked up the wireless pocket thing we ordered. Good Japanese efficiency there. Got the Narita Express, which isn’t that express. Got to Shinjuku, got on metro system. Found the hotel. All checked into a very nice little suite. We had a bit of a power nap for a few hours. Then ventured out, all a bit scary and very busy towards the main Shinjuku, we ended up in a small place just round the corner from the hotel. Ate pizza, drank lots of Japanese beer. Bought what I thought was milk, it wasn’t, will need to attempt that one again. So now going to call it a fairly early night as been a very very long day.

Started this morning being rather lazy, actually been like that pretty much all day. Didn’t get up until the early afternoon. No we didn’t spend all morning having sex, Jamie kept complaining that jamming his cock up and down to various tunes on Radio 2 was not the way to arouse him.

I got and put the alarm sensor back on the wall and did some packing. Not too bad, the only things we appear to be missing are shaving gel and toothpaste. Everything has been charged up, I’ve got the boarding passes, sorted out the dog food into nice individual bags and got the neighbour to stick the bin out. Fed the lizards and topped up their water bowls. Watered the plants (they will still die). Printed out various directions.

So that’s it really, just need to drop the dog off and off we go.

So if all goes to plan…..my next update will be coming from Tokyo. If it doesn’t it means the plane has crashed and we are probably dead. In which case please look after the dog.

Didn’t have a great deal planned for today, which was a good idea as I didn’t get an awful lot done. So slept, walked the dog and went to Tesco’s. As we didn’t really need anything for next week I bought huge amounts of chocolate bars, which is the standard holiday food. Still it still came to over sixty quid.

Came back and had lunch. Still needed to obtain more Yen for Jamie and a comb. Tesco had combs but I wasn’t spending a fiver on a comb just because it had the signature of some coiffured twat on it. So ventured into town, went to the post office which was bound to have Yen, it didn’t. Went to Thomas Cooke, which also failed to have any. The lady there though said to try M&S, which I thought was rather a strange idea. However, behind all the sensible underwear lurked an exchange booth where they preceded to have plenty of Yen. So that was all very satisfying.

Oh and I did manage to get a comb, in Boots. It was still 99p for a bit of bloody plastic tat, but at least it was twat signature free.