This morning I woke up, which oddly to discover someone else didn’t. I had breakfast and a coffee and then gently dozed. It wasn’t until about mid-day when I checked my email, and then face book. At 5:45 this morning was a message posted to me, from Karen Green, Natalie Green’s mother. It simply read, ‘Natalie is at peace x’. The world suddenly stopped turning, I lost all coherence, I didn’t really have a clue where I was for a few minuets. The girl who I had loved and been with for about six years had gone, she was no more, in her own words she would have said ‘I am an ex parrot’. So sudden, I only had a message the other day that she was ill in Cheddar Hospital and that they had found a ‘mass’ on her stomach, I was planning on visiting next week, I never expected this to happen so quickly. She was about thirty-five, had never done any harm to anyone, she has two small children. Now she is gone. The last time I saw her was at my wedding last year, she made our wedding cake. I only recently sent her a couple of dolls I’d picked up in Japan for her kids. Now she’s gone, she’s never going to pop on on face book again and seek legal advice or bitch about the world in general. It’s very strange.

We did eventually get up. I ate eggs, we visited the mall and I managed to get three more Gromits. Came back and got the BBQ going. Jamie’s mother was coming over. We actually had quite a good time, she slightly overdid the wine and was a bit legless. That took my mind of things for a bit.

I have a feeling I may be dwelling on my thoughts a bit too much this week. At some point soon I will have to meet her family again and I really just don’t know what to say.

RIP Natalie, may your god go with you.