Today was a bit weird. Okay, I’m going to get on my high horse here at some point. Yesterday, I was sent a mail by FaceBook saying, “It’s Natalie’s birthday this week, why don’t you write on her wall.” Why? Is she going to read it? It was a little upsetting, but also a good reminder. I have no objection to leaving a memory and some words on FaceBook. Which is exactly what I did, I posted some nice words and a nice photo from our wedding.

Now this evening, “Trial by FaceBook” has started. Her husband, basically is seeing another woman. He met her 14 weeks after Nat’s death. Now how do I feel about this? Well to be honest I’m still a little bit on the fence. In one mind I’m glad he’s moved on, he always seemed very strong to me, on the other….well, if she hadn’t died from natural causes I’d be fucking suspicious. I’m just not sure, I’m really not. Most of me says, “Don’t get envolved.”, but I know at some point or other I probably will.

It’s come to a bit of a head this evening with her sister basically posting that he’s a fraud and that he’s trying to dump the kids on anyone who will take them etc. etc. He’s posted pictures of a birthday cake and pictures of the kids by the grave side. Is it nice? Is it sick? I’m going to have to have a really hard think about this.

I’ve certainly found some things strange over the past few months, some things just haven’t added up. I think now is the time to seriously analyse it all and come to a decision.

From a personal note though, Nat I miss chatting to you and the world is missing a beautiful girl. Did you make a bad decision marrying Dan? I’m not sure at the moment. I just know, when you were alive, you enjoyed every minute of it, and that’s what’s important.

What happens now is in the realms of the one’s who are still alive. If I’m to have any governance or control over that I will have to think about.

Happy birthday Natalie, I miss you.