So started off at about 3AM. I went for a piss. The fucking cleaners had moved the bathroom scales. I rammed by left foot clean into them, completely taking off the top of my big toe. I was not fucking impressed. I pissed and went back to bed. Woke up in the morning and cleaned up half a toenail and about half a pint of blood. Moved the scales. We were thinking about sex, just I think we were thinking about sex just not with each other. So I made breakfast and had coffee. I then gave Jamie his stocking, which contained some nice Paul Smith smellys and some other stuff. He gave me mine which contained a load of tat from Pound Stretcher. We eventually got up and walked the dogs. Came backhand exchange gifts. I got a Dan and Phil calendar which I’ll have a sank over later and some Lynx stuff to cover up the smell. Also got tickets to Priscilla Queen of the dessert next year. We then headed off to the mother-in-laws. Dinner was served. Very nice indeed. Disappointed there were no Yorkshire puddings which I don’t like anyway, and no mash. We had peas, I heavily approve of peas. I like peas. We never used to have peas on a Sunday. I guess it wasn’t a Sunday, so peas were fine. They had mint in. We did the washing up and then had presents. I got a nice picture, a t-shirt and some wooden spoons. Gave Jamie his tattoo voucher and I got a GoPro Hero 4. Drove home. We then bought a load of new songs for Karaoke games and practiced a few. Jamie came out with a very odd statement that he could ‘never understand the Pussy Cat Dolls’, I came back with, ‘You could possibly have an issue with understanding some of the philosophers hypothesis, but really…’.

Time for more beer.