So we were about to go on stage but my mother was insisting we went through this bloody contract with a fine tooth comb. Michael was getting impatient, the band were starting up. Then there was bloody great crash, Jamie and I both suddenly woke up. Dillion had managed to knock the step ladder over with his fat ass, it came crashing down into the bedroom. I picked it back up and sent the back to bed. My only comment to Jamie was, ‘I”m never going to sing with Michael Ball now’, then I went back to sleep.

Going back earlier, I spoke to my mother in the bath. Let me clarify this, I was in the bath, not her, actually she may well have been, actually not as her bath is still in her front garden. She was not going through a contract. She did however start off with a really typical patronising comment based on my recent failed relocation attempt. She has a bit of a history of these, they are all delivered in the same way. When I used to play rugby, which I was actually quite good at, I wanted to pursue it on the school team but the only comment I got in front of a bunch of people was, ‘Oh he’s so small they’ll use him as the ball….hahahha’. And the same for basketball, ‘Oh they’d use you as a step….hahaha’. I pursued neither as it was too much stress and would probably have screwed with her schedule. She made the comment and did the usual ‘hahaha’, it’s a shame I wasn’t there as I’d have quite happily punched her square in the face before the second ‘ha’.

Today I had an answerphone message which I promptly ignored, ‘Oh Tim I think my battery is gone on my laptop, it came up and said it’s almost flat and then it switched off, I don’t know what to do’. I’d give you a suggestion, but I want all those pills for myself.

Then when I got home from the gym, two text messages, first just reiterated the answerphone message, the second said she found the power cable wasn’t plugged in. If she had intelligence she’d be dangerous…..hahaha.

Well if I’m not allowed 500M of plastic sheeting and a set of chefs knives then I’ll have to take an alternative approach. I always said I’d do a rather revealing video when I’m fifty, but I’m getting itchy feet five years early and now have the perfect opportunity to upset the status quo. From my research though, I’m unable to fill in a missing five years, I need to do a bit more investigative work first. It’s a waste of time going through all the ball ache if the end result has already occurred.

After the fun revelation that the company that wanted everyone for the US now just wants to open an office in London kind of screws up all future plans in that direction. Still it was fun while it lasted. So back to plan A and continue with the decorating. I may even decorate the office at some point and install air-conditioning, anyone know an air-conditioning engineer? Mind you I believe I can do anything except cycle through a revolving door (I had a broken ankle to prove the point), it’s only a couple of pipes and a bit of gas, how hard can it be? Wondering what would be a good colour, possibly a blue. Need to finish the bedroom first, still have a third of the ceiling to do.

So there are now eighty new Pokemon to catch. Well I’ve made a good start and got about thirty of them in two days. Cold now going, replaced by a roaring cough. It’s more annoying than anything else but I think it will clear in a couple of days.

Passed all everything I needed to pass but now have a situation that there is no where actually to put me. This has pissed me off somewhat. Still, there are a few possibilities left. Hopefully get some more painting done tomorrow then have to go to dinner at the father-in-laws, which is never a fun experience, it’s all just a little bit dull.

Spent yesterday in bed, felt awful. But did catch up on a lot of television on the various catchup services. Did go for a walk in the evening to clear my head. Back to work today and pulled off a full ten hours. Spent it all dealing with gravel, very unexciting. Was supposed to have a phone call of the transatlantic flavour but that got cancelled. Hopefully reschedule that for tomorrow.

Had an odd job pop up on email the other morning. ‘Cyber security engineer’. Sounds like fun. May be put my thirty years of games skills to good use. Then I saw what they were paying, maybe they only want me to work for four months of the year. Had another email, more phone calls to take place later in the week.

Spent the night in the spare room as Jamie was snoring like a train. Previous night we both had a tickle in our throats. I jammed about thirty quids worth of chemicals up my nose and Jamie did nothing. Today I’m fine and Jamie has a stinking cold. Colds are beatable, you just have to time it right. Didn’t manage to get a paper yesterday so got out of bed fairly early. Walked Sasha and then headed into town. Nothing memorable button the way back I was standing around twitting with my phone and a homeless guy came up to me, I thought he was about to ask for money but no…..’Alright mate’, then he offered me his can of Special Brew, do I really look that bad? Stopped off at B&Q, bought paint, bedroom is going to be a sort of piss yellow white. On the way out of B&Q carpark I managed to completely twat a bollard in the middle of the road that I just didn’t see at all, all I heard was a scraping and the car flying into the air. Thankfully apart from the plastic bumper thing that’s far too low and now has another scrape out of it, it’s built like a tank, so took it all very much in its stride. Mind you I was only doing about ten mile an hour and it probably thought it was just another speed bump. Not that cars can think, pretty much like the driver at the time. So another night in the spare room as Jamie starts working at 4AM. I’ve even changed the sheets in there. I’ll be in there again tomorrow as well, not just because Jamie will sound like a stomach and flu ward, but it will stink of paint.

Spent most of the day looking at gravel, which was a fantastic use of my time. That was after I looked at snow and dirt. It’s been bloody cold today, I mean freezing. Plus I’ve had a really bad headache all day. Went for a walk early evening to clear my head. Then had a very interesting chat with a chap on sort of Skype but not. My knowledge of HDR processing came in handy, plus my ability to debug multiple threads. Just wait now to see if they want to reach out.