So walked the dogs and then finally did some cleaning (cleaners, whole different rant). Did some accounts stuff, but much more to do as it’s the end of the tax year. Walked into town, while doing so designed a complete financial planning spreadsheet in my head. This will give me the numbers I need so I know when I can retire.

Went to the Bristol Old Vic and saw ‘It’s a motherf**king pleasure’. Which was dark and very funny. It was all about ‘ablism’. Staged by two blind men (actually only one was blind as there was an understudy). Tomorrow there is more accounting to be done.

So I’m very good on measuring out the exact amount of wine. What I’m not so good at though is measuring cheese. Start with four slices. Then drink the wine. Then randomly slice more cheese. It’s like getting the munchies but without the drugs. Sleeping is still going fine.

Getting bored of being pissed on again. Took Sasha out lunchtime, big time hail stones. Got soaked. Went to the track this evening and got drenched. It seems to be pretty much everyday now.

So stuck to the plan last night and all was good. Managed to sleep no problem at all and had no bad head. Got to work reasonably on time and had a good day. Weather was shite as usual so managed to get the dogs out but beyond that didn’t get out until later this evening, meaning I didn’t get back in until almost bed time. Added my calories up and know exactly how much Pinot I can drink. Booked some culture for Saturday and if all goes to plan will go to the cinema tomorrow.

So I put on 4.3Kg which as a percentage of my body weight is quite staggering. Still, I now have six weeks to lose it all again. Decided to take a slightly different strategy, I don’t think it’s worth continuing with this ‘four days not drinking’ thing as all that’s happening is I’m not sleeping for four days. In Gran Canaria I slept great, although woke up with a bit of a head. So now I’m doing the trading game, I have to keep within a certain calorie range in MyFitnessPal. So the more exercise you do the more calories you have to spare, these can then be used on alcohol, may sound daft but there is a physical limit to how much exercise you can do and what you can eat, I’me very good with limits. Lets see how it goes over this week, I think going from what I was drinking in GC to zero would probably be very dangerous anyway.

So after last nights rather confusing post about the state of the nation I’ve had several enquiries asking to explain more. You are brave people. So let’s just look at a parallel, Las Vegas. I think it’s probably the most tacky and awful place on earth. It exists for one reason only and that is to empower people. But sadly it’s to empower people to gamble. So an entire city has been developed for the pure purpose of encouraging people to visit to lose money. I guess you could say the same thing about ‘Disney World’, but that’s when one giant corporation decides to do the same thing, and as that’s just capitalism then ‘that’s okay’. I’m not singling out the USA for being the criminal in this by any means, places like Dubai have developed areas purely for tourists that offer lush accommodation and vast shopping malls, providing of course you are not gay. 

The point is you are either developing a place or expectation to fulfil the needs of a person. But why is this any different to any other normal business transaction? A bakery sells bread as people want to eat it, a plumber mends a boiler as someone is freezing their arse off. So what’s the difference? The difference is no inherent person has ever had the need to buy a Mickey Mouse backpack. But isn’t this just classed as entertainment? Absolutely. This splits materialistic things between two extremes, necessities and desires. What does confuse matters though is where the boundary is placed, what personifies that Mickey Mouse backpack as being a ‘must have’? 

So we are now in a situation where we are both the purveyor and consumer of the exact same item, no longer in a materialistic sense, but from the point of view that if you you are the consumer of anything, there will always be someone out there to supply it, or corollary the case there will always be someone out there to exploit the potential that you want it. But that basis is no different to the analogy of if no one believed in God, does God then not exist? Or the more pessimistic view that if God existed and no one believed in him (her/it) would they be slightly pissed off? I digress. I’ll get back on track to my point. And we will reorientate to my current location, Gran Canaria, or more specifically Maspalomas and the Yumbo Centrum where you have almost the perfect dichotomy, love and hate in the same simmering cauldron of what’s architecturally just a shopping centre.

So here I am in a  mass concentration of gay / lesbian people in one location, who on the one hand are celebrating the fact that I ‘can be liberated’ and ironically on the other hand, pointing out the fact that I ‘can’t be liberated’ because I can only do it in the one location. There will sadly always be a stigma between the straight and gay communities, and in part it is brought on by myself. If I feel that I need a ‘special area / place’ to be who I am, then I am doing nothing to integrate with the same society I’m opposed to, if anything I’m just reinforcing stereotypes and the same problems will manifest forever more.

Sometimes I feel that rather than being part of the solution, I’m actually part of the problem. 

Well after yesterday’s rant email I finally got a reply later this afternoon. Ironically it stated that he ‘tried to find my at the snak bar at midday’, he didn’t try very hard, I was sat right next to him.

He wrote a basic corporate email stating that if the hotel happened to be full then there wasn’t much that could be done about the room allocation, I still dispute this considering I booked it back in November.

Oddly he didn’t mention the food once.

So when I was kid going on holiday with the family to Jersey, I used to hate ‘dressing for dinner’. My mother would insist that we got changed into some ‘nice clothes’ so we could eat basically ‘slop’ in what was basically a cheap ‘Butlins’.

But now in my older years I can see the point. I have clothes for the day, clothes for dinner and then clothes for ‘going out’. And you know what, I do enjoy going back to the hotel room and changing into my ‘party wear’. To the point where I have an audience waiting to see what I’m going to turn up in, and boy do I not want to disappoint!

So dropped the dogs off. Sasha was shaking again, I think as an old lady now she likes her home comforts. Still, when she actually got there she was fine. Then did one final walk, it was a long one. Finished packing, 21Kg, that’s a lot of bondage gear. It’s bloody freezing, I’m shivering. Going to have a very early night with a couple of glasses of wine in bed. Then up early in the morning for the off.