This morning started rather strangely. I couldn’t work out if I was dead, in the process of dying or just trying to exit. I was being attacked by demons, and by demons I don’t mean things with horns, I mean past memories and people. It was a bit of a ‘null’ state where fate would take it’s course and there was no escaping. I couldn’t exactly blame it on too much drink or drugs as when we returned last night we had a nice bath and watched telly in bed for a couple of hours. I had a couple of small glasses of wine and some nibbles. It was probably the cheese that did it. I was brought back to reality (even though I’m not sure what the hell that is these days) by the doorbell ringing and Sasha going apeshit. I woke up suddenly in a very cold sweat with my heart pounding. I answered the door to a courier delivering shoes. Never was I so happy to be expanding my shoe collection. I think I was destined for a bit of a heart attack and a rather undignified exit – I never had clean pants on.

God I hat this time of year. It’s the biggest lull I get into. Then I’m a bloody fool who then invites his mother round to dinner when she is one of the key causes. If she’d perhaps paid a bit more attention at the time, then maybe I wouldn’t have to deal with the demons. It’s odd. Had this conversation with Jamie the other day about the ‘statute of limitations’, which this country doesn’t have, but America does. Sometimes I think it’s a good thing, is it right to dig up something so far in the past? And other times I think it’s a bad thing, may be one day I’ll decided to become the protagonist rather than the victim. Time will tell.

Got up and took the coffee machine apart. Fixed the water sensor for the moment, it may well die again, but at least I know how to take it apart now. Then moved on to doing the ‘annual clean’ of the larder. Filled two black bags full of expired crap. Walked Sasha and then headed to Staverton. We lifted about forty-five minutes before sunset and headed south. It was rather cloudy but we climbed above the inversion. The view was absolutely stunning. I felt somewhat closer to god all of a sudden, that’s the second time in one day, we need to stop meeting like this.

Drove home and then cleaned out both the fridge and the freezer, and I mean cleaned, stripped right down to bugger all and disinfected. Then I sterilised forty bottles. Didn’t get round to doing the actual transfer or bottling, one for tomorrow.

So providing I get through the night without dying, I have lots of wine to bottle and my tax return to do. Will also tidy up my office somewhat, as that’s turning into a tip.

Had an email from my friend Carl, who will be in Bristol next week, so we will meet up for food and gossip.

I like my new shoes.