Spent the bulk of the day staring at a lazy list cleanup and managed to get a ten times speed increase in it which can’t be bad. A bit concerned about the size it grows to though, I’d certainly like to poke that a bit more.

Longer walk with Sasha, taking advantage of the nice but very cold weather. Still collecting Pokemon.

Went for a 13km run early evening so caught the end of the daylight and went through the nature reserve, twice.

After more work I settled down to the new series of ‘Top Gear’. Must admit that I wasn’t expecting much, but ended up really enjoying it. A good few laughs. I think this will hopefully grow. I have already got bored of the Amazon offering after just three episodes and haven’t watched any more.

So did the whole of February without drinking at all, even added a couple of extra days. It’s certainly easier these days due to very decent alcohol free lager and even a sparkling Chenin Blanc which was quite nice. So after all that it’s back on a diet getting my beach body together for Ibiza. I have a very effective diet plan that’s based on fitness trackers and food intake, it’s frighteningly accurate. I’ve lost four pounds.

Been decorating the bedroom, it’s mostly painted now, probably about four Sundays to go on that one.

Had a fun email from mother. She was apparently pissing around on YouTube and found my video of ’99 anecdotes and the bitch is in all of them’. She complained about being called a bitch, obviously never heard of the song….. Did she actually apologise for tormenting her son by making him wear girls socks? Did she fuck, she complained that I got the song wrong and I should get my facts straight. I think I’ll film another one called ‘bitch in a box’. And it’s not fucking ‘utube’. Haven’t actually thought about her at all for a couple of weeks, suddenly my life is so much better.

Work is oddly okay at the moment, some pressure has been removed from me and I’m getting on with stuff, I haven’t wanted to kill anybody for almost a week now.

I’ve done the first transfer on the Viognier and the Pinot is almost ready to stabilise, so that’s another sixty bottles in a couple of weeks.

Jamie and I are wondering about going away for our anniversary, not sure we can get any time off though. Maybe we’ll go away over Easter instead.

The other thought was to hold Jamie’s thirtieth in Turkey in September. Everyone’s invited (family that is, no weirdos), you just have to get there yourself and pay for the hotel in Antalya, which of course we never actually leave. I’ll even pay for a meal there for everyone.

So we were about to go on stage but my mother was insisting we went through this bloody contract with a fine tooth comb. Michael was getting impatient, the band were starting up. Then there was bloody great crash, Jamie and I both suddenly woke up. Dillion had managed to knock the step ladder over with his fat ass, it came crashing down into the bedroom. I picked it back up and sent the back to bed. My only comment to Jamie was, ‘I”m never going to sing with Michael Ball now’, then I went back to sleep.

Going back earlier, I spoke to my mother in the bath. Let me clarify this, I was in the bath, not her, actually she may well have been, actually not as her bath is still in her front garden. She was not going through a contract. She did however start off with a really typical patronising comment based on my recent failed relocation attempt. She has a bit of a history of these, they are all delivered in the same way. When I used to play rugby, which I was actually quite good at, I wanted to pursue it on the school team but the only comment I got in front of a bunch of people was, ‘Oh he’s so small they’ll use him as the ball….hahahha’. And the same for basketball, ‘Oh they’d use you as a step….hahaha’. I pursued neither as it was too much stress and would probably have screwed with her schedule. She made the comment and did the usual ‘hahaha’, it’s a shame I wasn’t there as I’d have quite happily punched her square in the face before the second ‘ha’.

Today I had an answerphone message which I promptly ignored, ‘Oh Tim I think my battery is gone on my laptop, it came up and said it’s almost flat and then it switched off, I don’t know what to do’. I’d give you a suggestion, but I want all those pills for myself.

Then when I got home from the gym, two text messages, first just reiterated the answerphone message, the second said she found the power cable wasn’t plugged in. If she had intelligence she’d be dangerous…..hahaha.

Well if I’m not allowed 500M of plastic sheeting and a set of chefs knives then I’ll have to take an alternative approach. I always said I’d do a rather revealing video when I’m fifty, but I’m getting itchy feet five years early and now have the perfect opportunity to upset the status quo. From my research though, I’m unable to fill in a missing five years, I need to do a bit more investigative work first. It’s a waste of time going through all the ball ache if the end result has already occurred.

After the fun revelation that the company that wanted everyone for the US now just wants to open an office in London kind of screws up all future plans in that direction. Still it was fun while it lasted. So back to plan A and continue with the decorating. I may even decorate the office at some point and install air-conditioning, anyone know an air-conditioning engineer? Mind you I believe I can do anything except cycle through a revolving door (I had a broken ankle to prove the point), it’s only a couple of pipes and a bit of gas, how hard can it be? Wondering what would be a good colour, possibly a blue. Need to finish the bedroom first, still have a third of the ceiling to do.

So there are now eighty new Pokemon to catch. Well I’ve made a good start and got about thirty of them in two days. Cold now going, replaced by a roaring cough. It’s more annoying than anything else but I think it will clear in a couple of days.

Passed all everything I needed to pass but now have a situation that there is no where actually to put me. This has pissed me off somewhat. Still, there are a few possibilities left. Hopefully get some more painting done tomorrow then have to go to dinner at the father-in-laws, which is never a fun experience, it’s all just a little bit dull.

Spent yesterday in bed, felt awful. But did catch up on a lot of television on the various catchup services. Did go for a walk in the evening to clear my head. Back to work today and pulled off a full ten hours. Spent it all dealing with gravel, very unexciting. Was supposed to have a phone call of the transatlantic flavour but that got cancelled. Hopefully reschedule that for tomorrow.

Had an odd job pop up on email the other morning. ‘Cyber security engineer’. Sounds like fun. May be put my thirty years of games skills to good use. Then I saw what they were paying, maybe they only want me to work for four months of the year. Had another email, more phone calls to take place later in the week.